Open Letter - 23

 Dear society,

How are you doing? I am good and I hope to hear the same from your end. If we are done with these niceties, I am in a hurry to tell you something. Can you believe it! I am now in my twenty ninth week of pregnancy. I never realized time flies so fast. In not less than ten weeks my baby will see this world with its naked eyes and I have to get my mind clear of all doubts and confusion about this world and particularly about you, the ruler of the world.

This sudden realization dawned upon me when I received an email from my hospital asking me to get a growth scan done this week. It might sound dramatic but I felt a pang hit my stomach as I went through the contents. My baby has already grown so big that the hospital now thinks it fit to check its growth, height and weight.

I still remember my first pregnancy scan as if it happened yesterday. The size of my baby had been not greater than a lentil. You would care lesser for it though, if you haven’t heard what I heard that day. It was the beat of its heart. That rhythm killed me as a woman and poured life into a mother. From that moment, I couldn’t think about myself without thinking about the tiny pounding heart within me. I couldn’t ignore my health, I couldn’t accept any unfair treatment towards children, I couldn’t stay put and peaceful but I couldn’t let myself turn restless, I couldn’t do many things but I couldn’t resist trying to stop myself from doing them for the sake of my baby.

You might remember my letter to you about a Nuchal Translucency scan I underwent in my third month of pregnancy. I was so angered about the way the doctor told me about Down’s syndrome and how this scan provides me an opportunity to end the journey of a possible invalid right in its first steps into life. A similar experience disturbed me for more than a fortnight when I had an anomaly scan done in my sixth month into pregnancy.

This anomaly scan, also referred to as TIFFA scan as the name suggests, identifies any anomalies in organ development. Sometimes, possible miscarriages are identified through this scan in the form of mal-functioning heart, kidney or liver or any other grave disorders. This scan however, is popularly known for one function and that is the identification of any disability in the child. “You need not give birth to a baby destined to suffer for a lifetime. You can just let it go and walk away as if it never happened”, said a patient I hit a conversation with while waiting for my turn.

Arguments about this 21^st week abortions are ripe across the globe. While few support a woman’s right to decide when and how she wants to terminate her baby, few argue against the grave injustice it might be to the baby. One thing is right, a parent knows what suits best for one’s child and none can infringe their right in that matter. However, when it comes to life, no individual has the right to end the other’s life be it one’s own father or mother.

Lost in these inner contradictions, I started reading about abortions due to anomalies and what others think about them. I found equally convincing arguments from both ends and could not choose one side without agreeing that the other has a valid point too. One article however caught my attention and that steeled my determination to let my baby live even if it is diagnosed with a disability. It was a survey that says majority of the disabled respondents said that they would rather live than be killed in womb. When all the arguments about anomaly abortions are directed towards the hard life that one needs to force an individual to lead while one had the option to save them from that pain, this response seemed to point a finger in the other direction.

“What would you do if your child breaks an ankle at five? Will you kill it like you would have when it was in your womb?” asked a friend of mine when I told her all about my confusion. “At 21 weeks your baby already has a heart and mind of its own. You cannot just stab it with a surgical knife and deny calling it a murder”, she added.

Those words made me think further. We always talk about rights for the living and dead but we rarely talk about the rights for the unborn and the about-to-be-born. Dear society, why aren’t fetus considered equal to an infant just because they haven’t yet entered the world? In days when a baby is not seen until it emerges out of the womb it can be taken into account that it came to life the moment it left its mother. However, now that we can see it grow and hear its rhythm of life, how can we still consider a non-entity until it breaks its shell?

In cases of emergency, where either the mother or the child is at risk of death, 21 weeks abortions are unavoidable but just because there is a supposed disability that the baby had to live for a lifetime with, none has the right to decide on its behalf if it wants to live or die.

There may be valid arguments against my point and I completely respect a woman’s decision regarding her body and her offspring but if at all a woman approaches you in a dilemma regarding this issue, please tell her what I personally think.

May be she might find my advice convincing and give birth to a baby that may be disabled physically but strong and complete at heart.

Thank you for being a patient listener as you had always been,

Yours lovingly,

An Expecting Mother.