Open Letter - 10

Dear Society,

Wish you happy mother’s day. I guess you are having a busy time greeting all your mothers on their special day. I am writing this letter to give you a helping hand in sending your wishes to all those wonderful mothers out there. If you have not forgotten, I am an expecting mother too and I guess I can await a letter from you this day next year.  

Of all the things you say, you were mostly right about mothers. Mothers are truly the most loved creatures on earth. Be it a pup or a calf or a kid or a child, mother’s care is unparalleled among all beings. They make us feel safe and secure. They keep us motivated. They trust us. They fight for us. They guide us. They inspire us.

An entire world may turn against us, but our mother shall always stand by us. They set right our mistakes. They appreciate our achievements. They pretend ignorance to make us feel wise. They walk an extra mile to make us feel loved.

A mother is an embodiment of sacrifice. She sacrifices her pleasures to ease our pain. She sacrifices her career to raise our scores. She sacrifices her engagements to keep us company. She sacrifices her world to become our world. This mother’s day I bow low to all those selfless mothers whose love towards their children is limitless and unconditional.

Dear society, it might seem out of place, but, do you see the irony here? You and I keep glorifying the sacrifices made by mothers but do we ever ask ourselves why we are letting them do all those sacrifices?

Why do we let our mothers sacrifice their happiness for our joy? Don’t you think we are enslaving them for a lifetime with all our over-romanticised motherhood? To speak a woman’s heart out, mothers need not always be symbols of sacrifice. Mother’s need not always be selfless. Mothers need not always be caring. Mothers need not always be AWAKE.

How many mothers under your shadow have a wink of sleep before their family sleeps? From early morning coffee to post dinner dish washing, mothers are always working and running.

I know you have stopped restricting women from working outdoors and I applaud you for that. Our mothers today are not limited to their soot filled kitchens like their mothers. They most tactfully balance both their domestic as well as professional affairs. They are rising to the image of the multi-handed goddess (that we all share on our social media platforms today) with cookery in one hand, a child in another, laptop in the next and money in the other.

Our mothers can skilfully accommodate domestic chores, child care, work life and money management in their daily routine. One must appreciate their mettle and determination for successfully leading the life of a multi-tasker. One must concede none can beat mothers at their level of patience and perseverance.

However, if you call this empowerment of women, I am afraid I cannot agree with you. Empowerment is an indication of rise in one’s standard of living. Bestowing financial independence on women is not just enough to call them empowered. There should be a significant ease in their lifestyle. With all the multi-tasking they are so glorified about, don’t you think our mothers are being over-strained?

Why are we still not dividing child care and domestic chores equally among mothers and fathers? Requesting men to lend a helping hand in domestic affairs is not enough. We need to tell them that it is their work as well. When a man extends a helping hand in domestic affairs, you either make a hero out of him or make fun of him. When a father changes napkins for his child, you are not to tell him that he is helping his wife. You are instead supposed to tell him that he is doing his job as a parent. When a son or a daughter cooks for the day, they are again not helping their mother. They are rather doing their job as members of the family.

Dear society, my only request to you on this special day is to stop over-romanticising motherhood. Instead of lauding the sacrifices made by mothers, tell them they need not always sacrifice their fun, love, careers and goals for anything in the world; not even for a child.

Have no doubt that I might hide this letter from my child. I am going to be a mother, yes, but I am going to teach my child the way to treat a mother. Because I cannot teach independence by letting my child be ever-dependent on its mother.

Hope you spread my word and wish all your mothers on my behalf.

Yours lovingly,

An Expecting Mother.