How are you? I am fine and I hope this letter finds you safe and indoors. It might sound funny but this introductory seems so appropriate to our girls who are always expected to stay safe and indoors. Now that the situation has changed, their sole slogan is now being shared by all, “Stay home, Stay safe”, however with a slight modification. Our men are trying to stay home and stay safe while are women are being forced to stay home forever and keep their families safe.
Last week, I had a conversation with an old aunt of mine and trust me, the first thing she asked me was if I had not quit my job yet. I was wonder-struck at her question. Firstly, I thought she meant if I had not applied for a maternity leave already but in no time she made it clear to me that it is better if I quit my job as soon as possible. When asked why she felt so, she said work for women is a luxury that can be forgone when time demands.
That is why thousands of our girls quit job every year to move in with their husbands as soon as they get married. Half of the rest quit when they go into pregnancy as they are bound to foresee a future with a child and work cannot be a priority when it comes to child care. Trust me, these are not mere career breaks but abrupt full stops that end a short but memorable journey that these girls make from the moment they leave their graduation convocation hall to the moment they enter their wedding reception hall.
Resignation is a virtue that we start teaching our girls right from an early age. When a five year old scrapes an ankle during a high jump, she is advised to quit jumping altogether to save her smooth and tender ankle from further bruises. When a ten year old skids off a bicycle, she is advised to stop bicycling as she might not need that skill throughout her lifetime. When a fifteen year old says she is finding it uneasy to change napkins at school, she is advised to stay away from school throughout her period and in few cases, worse, forever.
Eve teasing at seventeen changes a girl’s attitude towards college life and life on a whole. When a seventeen year old complains of eve teasing, she is advised to stay away from men and to get herself covered from head to toe to keep her body safe from prying eyes. By twenty, no girl stands courageous enough to complain about a stalker to her college authorities or police authorities or even to her parents because, by then she would be quite aware of what follows next. Her list of advises would include,
1) Staying away from her stalker
2) Staying away from college
3) Laughing less
4) Talking lesser
5) Not taking any special classes
6) Saying no to all co-curricular activities
7) Using only public transport
8) Covering herself properly
9) Reducing Make-up
10) Stop hanging out with friends and especially guys
This list has no end and if you have the time to ask a twenty year old to complete this list, you might find a longer and more ridiculous number of reasons than these.
Dear society, can you believe that this form of resignation taught to our girls in every walk of life is stopping our girls from reporting crimes meted out to them at a later stage? Our girls do not report abuse at workplace because they cannot risk a family-forced resignation to their job. They do not report abuse at commute because they are afraid they will not be allowed to travel alone again. Thousands of our girls do not report abuse within marriage as they are afraid they will not be accepted both by their family and her in-laws.
Many of our girls do not report abuse at public places because they are quite sure that they shall be called the indirect culprits of the crime by not just the authorities, relatives, family and friends but by any random person that get to hear her story. The idea of lodging a complaint and fighting abuse is not inculcated in our girls. Instead, this entire process of fighting for justice through law and order is projected to be a loss of face to the family and the girl.
“Society will gossip”, they would tell their teenage girls when they come running home to tell their parents that their tuition master misbehaved with them. These innocent girls who had the zeal to fight for justice, learn resignation and get a solution to their problem by quitting the tuition forever.
Dear society, have you no shame when people keep suppressing their girls from fighting for their rights by using your gossiping nature as a reason behind their action? How can you gossip about a victim of abuse when your main responsibility towards her is to empathiseand support her? Through your jobless ridiculous gossipy nature, do you ever realise that you are indirectly supporting the rise of un-reported crimes and careless criminals in the country?
Now that you have ample of time to think, do spend some time to ponder over this issue and try to reason with yourself if you are doing a good job by pushing so many girls into abuse that they do not even dare report. And please be quick at this, because I am almost gearing up to bring my baby into this world and trust me, I am not letting a fight die down if at all it rises in my family. Because, I am going to make my child realise that no problem can be solved through resignation; you call it victory only when you fight for it and not when you run away from it.
I hope you have some time left to share my views with your loyal subjects.
Yours sincerely,
An Expecting Mother.
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