One Step Towards a Better Future - Published by eFiction India (Vol 4, Issue 4)

The chill winds of December were slashing deep into my face. The bus was speeding on the almost deserted early morning road, leaving behind the dew filled fields to wait for the morning sun to dry them. Raju was murmuring in his sleep as he held on to the end of my sari. Master was sitting two seats in front of me, looking out of the window deeply immersed in his own thoughts. He would never understand how difficult a decision it was for me. The village that we left behind would have woken up by then and begun its hastened search for the missing people. A poor woman working as a maid in the house of a young man was missing along with her two sons. The bachelor was also not to be seen as he was bound to vacate the house the previous night. The community would not be silent and the family would be brought to the Panchayat. However, that was not the time to think of the honour of my ageing parents but of the future of my young sons. 

One year ago, when I met the master, I never knew that he was going to change my life forever. Like many of the girls born in our community, I grew up much before the term childhood entered my life. I started helping my mother with the daily chores as soon as I learnt to walk and talk. No sooner did I turn five than I was sent to the municipal tap to carry water to the households in which my mother worked. My birth was nothing but a relief to my hard working mother, who amidst the nerve breaking problems of running a eleven membered family with her sole earnings as a maid in a couple of houses, still had the time to caress me with her loving smile whenever possible. I acted as a foster mother to my younger brothers, often babysitting them when mother was out to work. Of my father I knew nothing but the fact that he comes late in the night, rarely sober, whose presence could be felt in her warm tears that embraced my cheeks as she embraced me to quieten my prattle.

One month after I attained puberty, I was married to my mother’s brother and was sent to the newly thatched hut in the adjacent lane. That man just like my father was rarely seen in the house though he formed a part of the family as much as I did until that day. Mother’s disturbing cries on the day of parting made all possible sense once I started living in the new house along with that monster of a man. The violent screams that were subdued to stay away from my ears until that day became the reality of the day. It was my turn to play the role of a noble wife and to bear the future generations of the family on par with taking up the responsibility of being the bread winner of the gradually increasing family. I started accepting work in more houses in order to save enough to get my children educated. I worked hard like a log but by the end of the day all the savings got grabbed away to let the man drink and sleep like a log. Slowly I realised the fact that education was a luxury that poor people like us don’t have a right to dream for. It was master’s few words of moving away a few weeks ago that ignited the first spark of hope inside my by then buried dreams of seeing a better future.

“I am going to leave the village in a few weeks. Come with me to the city, I will let you serve in my house and get your sons educated. The distance that separates this darkened world of age old traditions with the enlightened world of city lights is just one step. Take that single step forward and you shall never have to look back at this distressing past”, his words hit a nerve in my heart. I had no dreams of attaining a bright future for my own self but the thought of seeing my sons ruin their lives by walking in the footsteps of their father always troubled me. If I ever need to get a bride to my son then that definitely was not going to be a sacrificial ritual but a happy union of two equally responsible souls. Within few weeks all the arrangements were made. The said day, I left my daughter in my mother’s house and in the midst of the night I laid my first step out of the darkness of the hut along with my two sons. I knew I was doing injustice to my daughter but in the present day world, the most secure days that a girl enjoys are the days spent in her mother’s womb. I heard that these days even the womb is being made into a grave for the girls to silence their woes much before they are born. “Lakshmi!” master’s voice startled me out of my thoughts.

One more hour in a less comfortable bus and I found myself standing in front of a huge building whose walls new no bounds. I followed the master in straggling steps with both my sons clinging to my legs on either side, a sense of astonishment clearly written in their young faces. Master increased his pace and so did the list of doubts that started exploding in my mind. If master was so rich, why did he ever live in a village? During his six months stay in the village he never left to the town nor did anyone visit him. Was he speaking the truth when he promised me to get my sons educated or was he planning something else? My heart was beating faster as I entered the vast living room. A huge man in mid-forties was sitting on the cushion facing a couple of men in black suits probably businessmen bargaining about some land. On the gesture of the master, I folded my hands in obeisance to the headman. He acknowledged my presence with an owl-like stare at me and my sons from top to bottom and gave a satisfactory nod to the young master. Master left unceremoniously with a grin on his face and I was left baffled staring blankly at the old man. After what seemed like an hour, he turned back to me and asked me to freshen up in the servants’ quarters and to wait for his call.

Guided by an old man with a distressed look on his face, I walked to the outhouse to get myself some fresh air in order to free my mind of all the negative thoughts that have by then welled up in my brain. Staring out of the window, I found my master joyfully conversing with a slightly elder man probably his elder brother. Cautiously I walked towards them to catch the conversation midriff to clarify my doubts without deliberately insulting the master with my repudiations. The trial that was aimed at saving the honour of the noble master turned to save my life instead. The jubilant conversation held words that would make even thick skinned professionals to freeze. “Six months for a couple of urchins and a young woman is quite acceptable. Anyways, the woman that you brought was worth more than the regular village stock”, the words slowly made sense to my stupefied mind.

The evil side of the society was most spoken of by my mother but the ray of hope of a bright future erased all the negative thoughts off my mind. If there was a chance to mould my children into human beings then that definitely was to leave the village and move on. In an attempt to prevent them from turning into monsters who knew nothing but to whack the women of the family, I unknowingly brought them into the hands of greater evil. Those rogues, if what I heard was true, would turn my sons into the beasts that hunted down innocent lives to satisfy their hunger. Holding back the welling up anger and distress, I warily walked back to the outhouse to decide my next move.  The milk van was honking outside and I knew I had little time to lose. Within no time I was out on the roads of the unknown city with my two kids screaming with joy on seeing an aeroplane split the sky into two. 

Their shining eyes that moment showed how much they aspired to fly in the skies but soon they will realize that dreams like that are best left unremembered. Soon the men would be out searching for me and with all their power and status it would be minutes before they caught me forever. If I had a chance to save the kids then that definitely was melting sooner than a candle. I hired an auto-rickshaw to the bus-stop and anticipating an on-road collision with the pursuers, boarded a bus to my aunt’s place and soon felt the bone chilling embrace of the winter winds through the window of the speeding bus.

Racing back to my thoughts I knew I would never live the same life I had lived for years. The guilt of running away would hold on to me as long as I live and my name would resonate in the village every time an untoward thing happens in the community. The five hours I had travelled on my way to my aunt’s place, I had just one question in my mind; what would I tell them when asked for the reason of my unannounced arrival? All my doubts got clarified as soon as I saw her rage engraved face. Fortune saved me from hands of external deceivers but only god knows who could save me from the wrath of my own family.

The news of my arrival reached my brothers and they arrived the next day with spears and shovels in their hands. There was everything but happiness in their eyes on seeing me return. I accepted the fate that God bestowed upon me for crossing the social boundaries and closed my eyes in deep persuasion when I heard her voice. It was my mother, shouting at my brothers for trying to hurt me. She spoke of the way I sang lullabies to them when they were less than two years. She spoke of the sacrifices that I have made to let them have better facilities. She spoke of everything between us till date but not a single word about my absconding. I stared at her for comfort but all I could see in those weary eyes was grief. I would never understand whether it was the grief for giving birth to a girl like me or the grief for giving birth to a girl in the first place.   

On my return to the village, my husband deserted me. My brothers swore to kill me if they see me in their homes again. Neighbours spat at me. Even mongrels barked at me. But, at the end of the day it was again my mother who took me to her home and fed me. That night I slept like a little child in the laps of my mother unaware of the harsh realities of the world. The next morning she took me to her masters and requested to take me in. With a caressing smile that never left her face since I first remember, she patted me on the head and left answering in her harsh tone to the enquiring neighbour of my safe return. When I was away, her cries of grief resonated in the village and on my return a mute smile answered all the angered cries of the village. Life is all about burdens, sorrows and troubles but by the end of the day it was the invisible bond of love that holds a child to its mother that makes every story a happy ending.