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Open Letter - 21

Dear society,

How was your week? Mine was peaceful and I hope this letter finds you in a sea of positivity and optimism. Optimism is a necessary booster we all need in times like these and unlike  vitamin c tablets that are fast moving off the pharma shelves, optimism never runs out of stock.

Yesterday, I had a group chat with my college friends and we spoke for hours about optimism. The problem seems to be that everyone is concerned about others not being optimistic enough while they themselves are helpless in being anything but panic stricken. Few are worried about loss of pay while few are not sure if they are going to hold on to their jobs for long. Out of all the depression and confusion, one guy sat relaxed and cheerful and seemed to be anything but worried. This person actually lost his job last month and surprisingly, he feels that was what breathed life into him.

Intrigued at his answer, all the members on chat pressed him to tell more of his life. In his own words, ‘He always loved music but was forced by his parents to take up engineering. His work life spared him no time for music and he could do nothing about it. Now that he lost his job, he could finally spend some time to rediscover his love for music’.

Happy to know that atleast few people are turning towards arts,  I asked him about his future plans. Sadly,  he thinks after this situation stabilizes a bit,  he will have to go on a job search again.  This gap might simply work as a stress buster for him but deep inside, he knows he can’t expect more from it. Because, men, unlike women, do not have the luxury of pursuing passions unbothered of earning to run a family. If he gets to marry in future, he will have to maintain a bit fat wallet to meet the needs of his family as well as that of his parents. 

Dear society, have you ever come across a man who doesn’t think he should be the bread-winner of his family? I bet you might not have because, right from an early age, you keep burdening your men to take up family responsibilities. Men rarely find scope to pursue full time education beyond graduation like women do because they are forced to take up a job as soon as they graduate. Passion, arts, other interests have little role to play in their immediately post-graduation stage. To marry, all that a girl needs to have is time to sit and get herself scanned from head to toe by strangers who might soon turn to be her family. But for a man, a decent job, a big fat wallet, savings, investments, deposits, self-earned properties, the capability to run a family ten times his capacity are all looked into before thinking about marriage.

I once had a friend who had to break with his girl because he couldn’t land a job soon after he left college. The girl’s father was adamant at marrying her as soon as she graduated and amusingly, she did marry within days after breaking with him. The way she got convinced by her father’s judgement that a guy who couldn’t find a job for himself cannot be serious enough about life was what made him detest girls forever. The good thing is that , he now owns a business and is living life by his own rules. But, what needs to be observed here, is the way our boys are being forced to accept the sole bread-winner status of a family.

Dear society, just like girls are not meant to be confined to the four walls of their homes, men are not meant to be working like logs to feed an entire family. If a man doesn’t want to work, it is his choice. If a man doesn’t want to earn more than what his wallet spends, it is his choice. If a man doesn’t want to work before he completed his education, it is his choice. Why should he be forced to earn just because he could satisfy the needs of a woman who might one day enter his life? Why should he be forced to forgo his passions and interests just because he could buy her a precious gift on her birthday? Why can’t he have the right to ask his partner to share the family expenditure? If women have the right to choose between work and no work, why can’t men have the same right?

I hope you have an answer to my dilemma. If you do, please write back to me explaining the reason behind men’s helpless state of being the sole breadwinners of their families. Please be quick in your reply because if I am to give birth to a son I must know if I should tell him to always stay focused on earning for others or to just let him be himself and to live for his own good. 

Thanking you in advance for your quick reply,

Yours Sincerely,

An Expecting Mother.

 


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